The Cycle of Self-Sex Temptation: A Map of Self-Pleasure Island…

Moving beyond masturbation, pornography, and sexual fantasy behind requires that you understand that it is a cycle that feeds on itself. The temptation mechanism draws you giddily through the same destructive gauntlet while blinding you to the fact it’s the same darn dog track you’ve bounded around before. When you are in the process of being lured into problem activity, it’s hard to see that disappointment and regret are just around the bend. Below is a diagram of the temptation and regret cycle, a map, if you will, of what I call Self-Pleasure Island. (Don’t miss the map key below the map.)

The starting point on your  journey is…

1. FEELING LOW – Your hunger for self-pleasure is strongest when you are bored, tired, angry, sad, lonely, feeling empty, anxious, or overwhelmed (even by good news). Next, you are off to…
2. INDULGING YOUR CURIOSITY – The decision to masturbate, look at pornography, and/or indulge in sexual fantasy sometimes seems spontaneous, but even then it probably started with “safe steps,” such as Googling which celebrities have been caught showing too much skin on a night out.
3. TEASING YOURSELF – This is the next step up from “innocent searches for information”. Heck, it’s Britney who should be embarrassed. I just want a look at what she was showing.
4. DARING YOURSELF – This is where you spit in the eye of temptation. You want your cake and eat it too. The Britney photo didn’t do that much for you. What’s the big deal? Now you want to see models posing to show what Britney showed “accidentally”. You dare someone to get you excited with such silly stuff.
5. FINDING THE IRRESISTIBLE TRIGGER – You swear you weren’t looking for this. After all, you were following a strict guideline. You were only going to look at a specific type of photo. You knew that would just put to rest the question of whether a very specific thing was valid as a turn-on. You knew the answer was ‘no’, but some idiot placed—right next to your target photo—a photo which breaks your heart and makes you tingle all over. In that moment, any pretense about resisting temptation and deciding to abstain from vociferous porn consumption and unrestrained self-pleasure is abandoned. Either you tell yourself that you’ve come too far and you’ll handle the regret later or you make up a lie about porn suddenly rising to a level of respectability unknown to you before.
6. MASTURBATING TO ORGASM – Yes, that’s a volcano on the map. You are in the heat of the moment and blind and deaf to all other inputs. I hope the island’s not sinking right then.
7. RELIEF- The comedown is like a waterfall. It’s fun. It’s cool. It’s relaxing. If you’ve been consumed by the self-indulgence for a while—maybe you’ve been entertaining the early “points of interest” for a few days, there’s no denying that it’s sweet to send those thoughts away with a few milliliters of semen.
8. EMPTINESS – Frankly, I think this is nature telling you that orgasms and ejaculations were designed to be witnessed by and shared with your wife. But, even if you don’t buy that, you must admit that after focusing your entire being on your sexual desires for a while, there’s a natural “what now?” at the end of it. Whatever you decide to do or think about, it obviously won’t be as titillating as your jerk-off session.
9. REGRET – If you have read this far, then I presume you have at least some doubt about whether masturbation is a good thing for you to be doing. You probably just responded to its demand with some level of resistance. Well, here is where you find yourself sober and miffed at yourself for giving in.

1. FEELING LOW - Another day, another sense of regret. Maybe you don’t even identify why you are feeling low, but you’ll soon find yourself curious about something…oh, not sexy, but close. Are you starting to sense déjà vu?

So, where’s the exit to the land of happiness, fulfillment, and freedom from this obsessive-compulsive thought and behavior hamster wheel? Well, that’s what the rest of this website is about. I believe this place of relative contentment is reachable and close by. I think you have visited it. I think you drift back and forth when you are feeling low. It’s just a matter of recognizing that masturbation, pornography, and sexual fantasy are a temporary and empty high.