A Different Kind of How-To-Quit Video

My scattershot survey of how-to-quit-masturbating videos on the internet has identified these common characteristics: confusing psychology, pretzel-like philosophy, goofy advice, scare tactics, and, oh, um…let’s see, absolute boredom.

Here’s my curve ball. I hope you find it entertaining and engaging.

Weiner and Schwarzenegger and Edwards Are Not Unique

The common response to politicians getting caught in sex scandals is “How stupid are they?” and “What a slimeball!” Indeed, it is easy to point fingers. And, certainly in these public cases, the enormous ego of the politician in error contributes greatly to the fallacy that the person was going to get away with it and to their pathetic belief that a firm denial would blast away the weight of any evidence.  But, let’s face facts: if you have obsessive compulsive behaviors in matters of sex, then you have been, are, or could be the slimeball people are pointing to.

Hold That Dirty Thought…

One of the most useful tools I’ve discovered in my fight against obsessive sexual thoughts is “Gratitude Breathing.” I’ll say right up front that I got this “circuit breaker” technique from the Candeo Healthy Sexuality program. I’ve made it my own, though, and I really recommend you embrace it wholeheartedly. Understanding it and believing in it are key to making it work.

THE BACKGROUND: The chains that bind you to sexual obsession and all of the problem behaviors that go with it are made of emotions. I know how hard it  is for guys to acknowledge that even have emotions, let alone admit that they are controlled by them, but that is absolutely the case. Emotions are drivers that can send us around familiar loops with or without our consent. It’s very difficult to leave that thought loop before it peters out on its own, but if you practice this technique, it will serve you well.

Undressing Nudity, Part Four of Four

This is the fourth and final part of an essay on nudity. I’m trying to de-mystify it, un-power it, and un-couple it from associations that aren’t healthy.

I’ve always been fascinated by nudist camps, closed-access communities where people give each other complete visual access to their bodies. The idea of privates is meaningless. Back when, as a kid, I feared going to the doctor largely because he might have to see under my clothes, the idea of a nudist camp blew my mind. Even as an adult, when the idea of being a visitor kind of excites me, I imagine that I’d spend the whole time comparing forbidden body parts, hoping that a cross-section of society would be present and I could learn all sorts of things about body types and puberty and aging and so on and so forth. Well, I recently read a serious study about behavior and attitudes of nudists. Basically it was asking if all that exposure to nudity created a sexually-charged environment. Well, the conclusion was that a nudist camp and an orgy are nearly opposite environments. It made the nudist camp sound like prudes at a church supper. They didn’t discuss the human body or sex and they primarily did not look below the neck. They had virtual boundaries for themselves.

Beat Porn by Killing its Value

If spend a lot of time looking at pornography, or looking for it, or thinking about it, or masturbating with thoughts of it, it means you value you it. The idea of having visual access to other people’s most sacred and intimate (and probably wrong) use of their physical bodies has been deemed by you to be worthy your thought, time, energy, and possibly your money. If you are aware of all that’s going on with viewing pornography and masturbating to it and sexual fantasy, you know you are giving far more than time and money to it. You may be risking your relationships and your self-esteem. In certain cases, you could be risking your job or your freedom. Okay, let’s not go there just now. The assumption here is that you wish you didn’t crave pornography and masturbation as much as you do right now. The given is that these activities, though bothersome, have value.

Addicted to Porn Addiction

If you are hooked on pornography and feel like it has more control of you than you do it, I sincerely hope you are able to get command of it soon. That’s the point of this website. Okay. So, naturally, most of the time you seek it out or pull out what you’ve got in storage for it’s designed/designated/intended purpose. In other words, you’re either aroused and want to reward your desires or bored/tired/lonely/sad and looking forward to the thrill of a pornography-fantasy-masturbation sequence.

Circuit Breakers for Unwanted Sexual Thoughts

Thinking about sex is definitely not bad. The problem for me has been that I have had a lot of sexual thoughts that weren’t by choice. They came to me by habit.

I call them circuit breakers. That’s because I think of these habitual thoughts as bad brain circuits (mind you, it’s not my brain that’s defective, it’s the habits that have been programmed into it).

Consider this scenario: I see a person who fits a character type in my library of sexual fantasies and I essentially own that person while I imagine them in my fantasy scenario. Can we agree that that’s not always a thought you want to have?

Consider another scenario: You’re flipping through channels and see a movie advertised. It’s a sex comedy and just that fact makes you ponder things about sex comedies and how far one on a particular network might go.