A Different Kind of How-To-Quit Video

My scattershot survey of how-to-quit-masturbating videos on the internet has identified these common characteristics: confusing psychology, pretzel-like philosophy, goofy advice, scare tactics, and, oh, um…let’s see, absolute boredom.

Here’s my curve ball. I hope you find it entertaining and engaging.

Quit Masturbating: The 100 Word Solution

Masturbation is always a CHOICE. Desire the reward of FREEDOM badly enough to accept some momentary FRUSTRATION. Recognize that the ORGASM caused by masturbation is small REWARD compared to the feelings of POWER and CONTROL that come from viewing pornography and imagining sexual situations with VULNERABLE people. Write down what you really BELIEVE about how people’s HUMANITY, innocence, independence, and privacy should be respected. Acknowledge the difference between your SEX THOUGHTS and your CORE BELIEFS. Daily RECITE out loud your core beliefs. When sex thoughts arise, take DEEP BREATHS and confront them with the truth. RECORD and REWARD your PROGRESS.

The Secret of Masturbation Video

Weiner and Schwarzenegger and Edwards Are Not Unique

The common response to politicians getting caught in sex scandals is “How stupid are they?” and “What a slimeball!” Indeed, it is easy to point fingers. And, certainly in these public cases, the enormous ego of the politician in error contributes greatly to the fallacy that the person was going to get away with it and to their pathetic belief that a firm denial would blast away the weight of any evidence.  But, let’s face facts: if you have obsessive compulsive behaviors in matters of sex, then you have been, are, or could be the slimeball people are pointing to.

The Charlie Sheen Show: Like Limp Porn

Charlie Sheen taking people’s money and taking to the stage is all kinds of wrong, and after reading this review I know that some his fans agree with me:

From ew.com, the InsideTV blog, comes this 10:03 live update by James Hibberd:

The show is now an unmitigated disaster. There’s a fairly steady stream of people leaving early. Attendee Chris Acchione, a self-described Sheen fan who traveled all the way from Toronto for the show, says his entire mezzanine row walked out. “He’s making a fool of himself,” he says. “Is there a bigger loser in the world? He’ll be [begging] Chuck Lorre for his job back by the end of the week.”

I’m reminded of life years ago, pre-internet, when finding real porn was sometimes a challenge and the only success I found was in proving myself a lustful fool. Specifically, I’m remembering buying an X-rated videotape without realizing that I was in a state with strict pornography restrictions. The video had been converted for sale there. It was rendered flaccid, if you will, by pan-and-scan. The genitalia and therefore all action involving them were always just off-screen. That’s a wake-up call. You can’t help but know acknowledge to yourself what you got the tape for. You feel cheap because your disappointment cuts through lies you told yourself about just wanting to understand the film style of pornography. You feel ripped off because you thought you’d purchased industrial-strength smut.

Did anyone who went to see Charlie’s show think they were going to get something of value? He’s shown his cards quite publicly over the last few months and news reports over the span of his public life have made it clear where his priorities and interests lie. So no one could have gone to that theater in Detroit in search of meaningful insight on the human condition or for a collection of motivational stories. I rather think they were hoping to see something truly obscene or outrageous (beyond what Sheen’s already broadcast for free). Some, I’m sure, were hoping to see a man give up the last of his dignity in a last desperate grab for money. They were banking on that to be funny on the face of it. Maybe they’d witness in person tomorrow’s new big story about the wealthy whacko. So, in a way it’s like pornography. If you are honest with yourself, it’s a disappointment if it’s too soft or edited. The stuff you’ll consider “good” (except when you’re honest with yourself) shocks and disgusts you. It offends the sensibilities. It spits on God’s silly notion about the noble use of genitals and breasts and bottoms. Like the Charlie Sheen stage show, nothing good was ever going to result from it.

What’s So Bad About Looking at Pornography?

If you regularly look at photos and videos of nude people in sexy poses or engaged in sexual acts, who am I to say, “Shame on you!” It’s entertainment, right? You didn’t force those people to do that. They are providers. They are making a buck. You are a consumer. Paid or not, you are a legitimate viewer of the entertainment created for people like yourself.

If you’ve got no problem with it, I may not be able to convince you it is a problem. Personally, I knew it was a problem because I couldn’t get enough of it, or at least I knew I would have to spend a lot of money and time before I was, by some definition, fully satisfied. When I found new materials (“Oh, my gosh, a whole series on wicker furniture under natural lighting. Porn is my destiny!”), I’d gobble it up with all abandon. When I couldn’t stand it anymore and then had to masturbate to relieve the sexual pressure, I’d later find myself 1) worried about how far I’d gone, and 2) unhappy about how much time I’d just wasted, and 3) left with a painful yearning for something I sensed was patently unobtainable.