Wake Up, You Thumbsucking Masturbator!

As exciting as pornography and sexual fantasy are, they were, in large part, a security blanket for me, a most comfortable and familiar collection of thoughts and activities. In fact, there were times when masturbation didn’t seem like it was moving toward a climax. It was like I was asking thumbsucking to be interpreted by my body as a sexual conquest, with the attendant thrill. As I detail elsewhere on this website, the trap of sexual obsession and compulsion requires self-deception. Sometimes that’s bold denial of the truth, for example, obsessing and salivating over the idea that a threesome in your bedroom would yield excitement, satisfaction, and fulfillment beyond imagination (well maybe for a moment, but damage will cancel any benefit). Many times, though, I think that my attachment to sexual thoughts and fantasies is more of a sleepy acceptance of the fairy tales. So, assuming you relate to that notion in any way…WAKE UP!

I am thrilled to tell you that it’s totally awesome to be on the other side of sexual obsession.

The Cycle of Self-Sex Temptation: A Map of Self-Pleasure Island…

Moving beyond masturbation, pornography, and sexual fantasy behind requires that you understand that it is a cycle that feeds on itself. The temptation mechanism draws you giddily through the same destructive gauntlet while blinding you to the fact it’s the same darn dog track you’ve bounded around before. When you are in the process of being lured into problem activity, it’s hard to see that disappointment and regret are just around the bend. Below is a diagram of the temptation and regret cycle, a map, if you will, of what I call Self-Pleasure Island. (Don’t miss the map key below the map.)

Beat Porn by Killing its Value

If spend a lot of time looking at pornography, or looking for it, or thinking about it, or masturbating with thoughts of it, it means you value you it. The idea of having visual access to other people’s most sacred and intimate (and probably wrong) use of their physical bodies has been deemed by you to be worthy your thought, time, energy, and possibly your money. If you are aware of all that’s going on with viewing pornography and masturbating to it and sexual fantasy, you know you are giving far more than time and money to it. You may be risking your relationships and your self-esteem. In certain cases, you could be risking your job or your freedom. Okay, let’s not go there just now. The assumption here is that you wish you didn’t crave pornography and masturbation as much as you do right now. The given is that these activities, though bothersome, have value.

Self-Pleasure Island: The Analogy

Yep, it just came to me. I was trying to think of polite ways to refer to jerking off in conversation with people previously unaware of my problem and self-pleasuring seemed safe. Masturbation, though a proper term, is about as welcome to most ears as incest or mucus. If you didn’t catch it, Pleasure Island is a location in Pinocchio, the Disney version anyway. According to Wikipedia, this is where boys are lured with “with the promise of fun and unlimited freedom” and are then “encouraged to commit acts of vandalism, fight, drink beer, smoke cigars, and gamble”. At first they just act like jackasses, but, because the island is cursed, they eventually become real jackasses. Pinocchio, by the way, escapes before his transformation is complete.