The Crude Life of Masturbation, Pornography and Sexual Fantasy

Dirty thoughts are fun. I bet the nun and the priest do it just out of earshot. What if Dick’s Sporting Goods were really about games involving dicks? Those girls walking into Fridays right now dressed up for Prom Night would be perfect for Girls Gone Wild, and what better place than a Fridays, with customers like me watching? Heck, you gotta relate to the real world this way to give your porn some meaning, don’t you?

Then again, I’m not psycho. Dirty thoughts aren’t, you know, who I am. I don’t want to take my kids to the The Muppets and have to fight off dirty thoughts about the moms and kids around me.

How can anyone really control their thoughts? Actually, that’s what this website is about.

Yet, there you have it. It’s so hard to do both, to be both. There’s an ownership mentality that goes with surfing pictures, “demanding” each new model displayed reveal their ready and willing equipment with nothing protected from my gaze or fantasy. The orgasm at the end of–Dear God, how many hours did I just waste–rewards an overwhelming sensation of conquering bought babes and servant studs. That mindset cannot simply be turned off. I continue to swim in the gutter even when I’ve been relieved, even when I’m not feeling the least bit sexy.

So, the world becomes a puzzle of potential double entendres, profanities, obscenities, and porn stars that I am charged with discovering and fleshing out.

What Tying the Knot Taught Me About Pornography, Masturbation, & Sexual Fantasy

My wedding night was a bust. The big moment of my life, the one I’d waited for for more than a decade longer than my average high school classmate ended with a manually achieved orgasm. As thrilled as I was to be having sexual intercourse for the first time, something in my body didn’t follow “Ready” and “Aim” with “Fire.” My bride had already reached the top twice and was as impatient as I was.

I couldn’t get out of the comfort zone of my fantasies, my pictures, and my familiar hand.

My new wife had already allowed me to look at certain pictures in books and on the internet. We’d talked about my sexual fantasies and explored many of my curiosities. She had almost acted indifferent to whether I masturbated or when I masturbated. So…my strategy for trying to get the lovemaking right was to either precede sex or interrupt it to go get stimulation from sexy pictures. Odd, isn’t it? I wanted sex so bad in the thousands of times I’d jerked off and when I had a willing partner I couldn’t get out of the comfort zone of my fantasies, my pictures, and my familiar hand.

Do Sex Toys Play With Your Head?

BE ADVISED. THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE IS ONE OF MY MOST GRAPHIC. IF IT STARTS TO SOUND LIKE A FANTASY TO MASTURBATE TO, CLICK HERE.

Check out our great new Adult Toy Store! Try a new adventure! Put some spice into your relationship! We’ve got costumes to (barely) cover up your honey’s naughty parts. We’ve got whips, gags, restraints, and complete outfits to fully restrain and pretend to torture the one you love. We’ve stocked silicon phallic shapes of all sizes and colors for for effective and convenient penetration and stimulation all around. And all product packaging bears the image of an average, ordinary user turned into a being of sexual perfection through the use of the product inside. Don’t you dare try to play pretend in the bedroom without having a look here.

Oh, and while you’re in the store, we’ve got fantastically tasteless greeting cards and vulgar gag gifts. Hey, nothing expresses greatest wishes for a bride’s forthcoming marriage like a greeting card sporting a naked sailor of offensive proportions making a naughty offer.

I may be wrong, but I don’t think sex between a healthy, loving husband and and a healthy, loving wife can be improved upon with accessories.

Okay, enough of the silliness. Here is the story of how my opinion of adult toy stores and sex toys went from titillation to disgust. It wasn’t long after my wife and I got together that we first checked out an adult toy store. I had been wary of such a thing previously, thinking it was too immoral for the facade I maintained, but with the approval of my beloved, I felt free to indulge. And the lure was huge.

Masturbate to Relieve Tension and Stress?

Even if masturbation is a villainous compulsion who visits you regularly, you probably associate it with relief. In fact, those with a neutral or positive attitude toward masturbation in general promote masturbation as a great way to relieve tension and stress. The trouble is that masturbation also encourages tension and stress.

Candidly, I have to tell you that some of my happiest self-induced orgasms have happened after I abstained for a while. In fact, that was typical for my cycle of temptation. I’d get sick of the habit and the related thoughts and I’d swear off it for a few days or a couple of weeks. Then a curious thought would pop into my head. I’d ponder it and get caught up in it and then I’d craft a fantasy around it. I’d check out safe references to confirm or dissipate my concerns and curiosities. Not satisfied with same-old, same-old, I would tread into more dangerous territory. I’d tell myself I just needed the right information, but urges would increase until I delved into something guaranteed to push my button. Then, to my shock, I’d come across some image or even my own fantasy that I “couldn’t handle.” And suddenly my staunch opposition to jerking off was replaced with serious determination to do just that. Of course, relief would come quickly, and with such a deep and satisfying force. For a moment, I was so incredibly relaxed and satisfied. No earthly problem could block the rays of sunshine bathing my glorious body…but, of course, it didn’t last. I’d be doing it at least twice more in the next few hours. It would be much less powerful, require a lot of concentration, and might even cause a little bit of irritation on my penis, but “one and done” is not phrase compatible with the habit of masturbation. The single, incredibly happy ejaculation was always followed by days of very compulsive “I can’t not do this” jerk-off sessions at the bathroom sink.

But Isn’t Masturbation Normal and Natural?

My advice for quitting the habit of solo masturbation was recently challenged with the claim that masturbation is normal and natural and beneficial to sexual well-being.

I agree with this assessment of masturbation. It is normal and natural. I don’t think it’s any accident of design that a human’s hand is perfectly positioned to massage his or her own sex organ. I think our sexual well-being requires some level of awareness of our sexual functioning. In fact, I believe it’s only logical that all people, both male and female, discover self-pleasure as children. But I don’t think masturbation works well as a lifelong habit. I think we are best served by growing out of the practice.

There’s a level of higher functioning not far above you. All you need to do is look up and start climbing.

Boys Who Masturbate: Private! Keep Out!

In my previous article, Boys Who Masturbate, I detailed how I came to learn masturbation. I discussed the fact that I had over two years’ experience before I had a clue I wasn’t the only boy in town who played with myself regularly. Even then, it would have taken a lot to engage me in any sort of casual conversation about it. It was truly a guilty pleasure, and completely taboo.

Times are different now. YouTube lets kids see and be seen doing lots of outrageous and inappropriate things (though, usually not explicit). We’re in the era where a leaked celebrity sex tape is treated like it’s automatically everyone’s right to view. Song lyrics read like detailed sex manuals (“Baby in your ear! I put it your ear!”) When I saw jokes about teen masturbation in Transformers, there was no question in my mind that at least Hollywood thinks that the target audience—boys who mostly have yet to see their own semen—are already joking with each other about jerking off. Let’s compare an example of my experience to today: My interest in and education about sex coincided with my first first sight of semen (my surprise first ejaculation.) Today’s boys seem to acquire a library full of random (erroneous?) details about feminine hygiene, blow jobs, orgies, and gay sex. The average boy probably acquires a mini-PhD in semen by the time he becomes a producer. It’s hard to fault the ones who think, “I’ve learned to drive and now I have a car. There’s nothing left to wait for.”

“It’s not hard to imagine friends prodding each other into a shared experience. I’m here to say this is a bad idea.”

A Clearer View of Sexual Intercourse

I doubt that anyone ever learned the facts of life, A-to-Z , in one afternoon-length lecture. I know my own journey of…prepare yourself… “sexual discovery” was piecemeal, ad hoc, and sort of lengthy. And it was definitely non-linear. I have a vague memory of a schoolyard playmate insinuating that sex involved a naked “boy”, a naked “girl”, and the boy’s penis doing something with an opening belonging to the girl. All I’m sure of is that at some point I understood that a married man had to aim his urine stream into his wife’s open mouth in order to produce kids. That’s why I’m now a monk, cloistered away from all females. No, but actually, I imagine that the truth wasn’t received much better. I mean, at age 10, I had the world figured out and it all made sense. And one thing I was sure of was that people potty in private and cover that part up the rest of the time. To suggest that men and women would fit their naughty potty parts together seemed so very wrong, an offense against nature. It wasn’t what people were designed for. Little did I know.

The Cycle of Self-Sex Temptation: A Map of Self-Pleasure Island…

Moving beyond masturbation, pornography, and sexual fantasy behind requires that you understand that it is a cycle that feeds on itself. The temptation mechanism draws you giddily through the same destructive gauntlet while blinding you to the fact it’s the same darn dog track you’ve bounded around before. When you are in the process of being lured into problem activity, it’s hard to see that disappointment and regret are just around the bend. Below is a diagram of the temptation and regret cycle, a map, if you will, of what I call Self-Pleasure Island. (Don’t miss the map key below the map.)

Addicted to Porn Addiction

If you are hooked on pornography and feel like it has more control of you than you do it, I sincerely hope you are able to get command of it soon. That’s the point of this website. Okay. So, naturally, most of the time you seek it out or pull out what you’ve got in storage for it’s designed/designated/intended purpose. In other words, you’re either aroused and want to reward your desires or bored/tired/lonely/sad and looking forward to the thrill of a pornography-fantasy-masturbation sequence.